My Way or…

Throughout my life, I’ve learned many things.  An important lesson I’d like to pass on to all of you is that there is more than one way to accomplish most goals.  Take, for example, the goal of sleep.  I sleep a lot… usually about 12 hours at night and then another 2-3 hours worth of nap during the day.  Last week Mommy and Daddy took me to the store and helped me pick out sheets, pillows, and blankets for what they call a big-boy bed.  Well, it turns out that a big-boy bed is more of a fluffy slab of recklessness than an actual bed.  Where did my 4 walls go?!  How can I throw myself around in bed if there are no sides to keep me from toppling overboard?  Sure, the bed is in the corner and they got a bar/net system to keep me from accidentally rolling off the exposed side, but it still feels so open.

The first night we tried it, I wouldn’t stand for it.  They even tried taking the side off my crib and putting me there instead, but I just wasn’t in the mood for change.  Yesterday, though, Daddy put me in my big-boy bed for a nap and stayed in there with me, making me lie down whenever I tried to move around.  While annoying, I did notice that the bed was actually kinda comfortable and I like having all the extra room.  Even though I didn’t take the nap (just kinda laid there for an hour), it was enough to get me used to the bed.  Last night Mommy and Daddy put me in the big-boy bed again, and I slept in it all night.  I heard a rumor that Mommy and Daddy snuck in and made sure I was sleeping in the bed, but I find this unlikely since I tend to wake up when anyone attempts such a maneuver.

So I guess the moral of the story is that Mommy and Daddy might have a better way to do things… my new bed is cool.  I won’t complain.

I destroy

It’s true.  I destroy.  Destruction, as I have come to understand it, is a two-part process.  The first is the medium – the tool of destruction.  This is the truly creative step.  Shall I use a bludgeoning tool, such as a toy hammer or board book?  Or perhaps a projectile?  Small cars and blocks can be easily grasped and thrown across the room (if going with this option, be sure to use something solid and with sharp corners).  Or should I go old-school and simply introduce them to the back of my tiny pink hand?

And the second part of destruction?  The target.  There are the inanimate objects which mostly serve as practice (all the stuff on the coffee table, the television, various toys, and the floor), and there are the alpha targets: Mommy, Daddy, and Zeus.  Each alpha target has it’s unique abilities and weakness.  Allow me to share what I have learned.

Mommy
Strengths: Quite good at anticipating my next attack, often covering her head just as I begin to swing.
Weaknesses: Motherly Love

Daddy
Strengths: Physical resilience and high pain tolerance
Weaknesses: Finite Energy Pool

Zeus
Strengths: Nearly cat-like reflexes
Weaknesses: Has not yet learned to move away from me during an attack.  Unusually low intelligence.

 Once you truly understand your enemy, you will be able to defeat them.  Here is a strategy I have employed with each:

Mommy
Phase 1 – “Accidentally” injure myself on toy, table, or invisible foe
Phase 2 – Cry a lot because of the pain
Phase 3 – Climb into Mommy’s lap for comfort
Phase 4 – Throw the back of my head into her face as hard as I can and jump down
Phase 5 – Repeat phases 2-4

Daddy
Phase 1 – Run around like a crazy man, making messes and causing general mayhem until Daddy collapses in exhaustion
Phase 2 – Discretely approach the sleeping Daddy
Phase 3, Option a – Find a solid object and smash Daddy in the face
Phase 3, Option b – Jump on Daddy until he wakes up
Phase 3, Option c – Turn my cup upside down and shake water into Daddy’s ear

Zeus
Phase 1 – Approach cat
Phase 2 – Unleash my fists of fury

As you can see, some opponents require more finesse than others. I shall continue to hone my skills and keep you all up to date.

New Stuff

Lots of cool stuff has been happening lately.  I figured it was time to hop online and give you all a little update.  After all, you know you can’t get enough!

I’ve been talking for a long time.  The problem, unfortunately, is that Mommy and Daddy seemed unable to understand what it was I was attempting to say.  It finally hit me that the best way to communicate is to use the same words Mommy and Daddy are using.  It seems to be helping.  I no longer have to use hand motions to ask for things, and I’m very polite!  I say please and thank you, and even excuse me when I don’t want to go under Mommy or Daddy’s feet.

Grandmama and Grandpa got me a really cool sandbox!  We picked up some sand for it at Walmart, and I got to play in it.  It’s a lot of fun.  It’s big enough that I can sit in, so that’s what we did.  We even made up a cool game where Mommy or Daddy makes a funny shape using a sand toy, and I try to destroy it as quickly as possible.  I’m very good at it!  What’s a godzilla?

 In big news, I pooped in the potty!  It was my first time using the potty, and I’m not sure if I want to make it a consistent thing.  It’s a lot of work, but it seemed to make Mommy and Daddy very happy.  There was clapping and some crazy Mommy dance.  It might be worth doing it again just to get the same performance.

Some big family news is coming, too.  Opa and Oma are coming into town, so I get to see them.  It’s been a long time!  I also get to spend some time with Nana and Papa – my first trip away from home without Mommy and Daddy.  I think they’re a little nervous, but I’m excited.

 Here are some other pics so you can see how cute I still am.