Fun+d

Daddy and Mommy told me they opened me a college fund. I don’t know what college is (something about pizza), but ‘fund’ sounds like ‘fun’, so I’m excited.

Destroyer of Worlds

My name is Daniel, Destroyer of Worlds.  I am Eater of the Carpet Fuzz, Clearer of the Coffee Table, Puller of the Grass, Chomper of the Cell Phone, Stalker of the Kitty, Tipper of the Stroller.  Tremble before me, mere mortals.  Though darkness rises, I have my night light.  Though Mommy steals my carpet fuzz, I have my secret stash.  Though teeth tear gums, I have my biscuits.  Though all my weapons are stripped away, I still have…my cuteness.  I am faster than a speeding kitty, more wily than a coyote, taller than a beanstalk.  Hear me and obey.  From each of you, I demand a proclamation of your love.

PS  I love you, Mommy and Daddy!

Mother

Sure, I give Mommy a hard time.  I spit up on her clean pants.  I yelled when she had a headache.  But I love her bunches.  Daddy helped me make her a card, and I tried to go to sleep when I was supposed to.  Mommy woke up with a migraine this morning, but Daddy and Nana played with me until she felt better.

 Papa was teaching a motorcycle class here in Cookeville, so I got to see Nana a lot!  She’s fun.  She makes me laugh and plays neat games with me.  And she even changes my diaper!  I miss her, but I’ll get to see her next weekend.

I love you Mommy!  Happy Mother’s Day!

Bonk

I bumped my head on the table today.  I haven’t seen it, but Mommy and Daddy claim I have a big red mark on my face.  It hurt.  I cried.

That kitty is SO fast.  Today I got a handful of hair, but he slipped away before I could eat him.

If Only I Were Taller

If I were taller, I wouldn’t need mommy and daddy to help.  You see, I can’t quite reach the keyboard, so I need mommy or daddy to hold me so I can post.  As I’ve already spit on the keyboard once, they seem unwilling to just put it on the floor for me.  So… I haven’t been on for a while, because mommy and daddy have been too busy with that ridiculous college thing they do to hold me while I post.  I think we need to have a talk about priorities.  Sheesh… some people’s kids.

I have been working on crawling.  As I reported, I discovered that moving hands and knees together is more efficient and less painful.  Well, the next level of training is all about speed.  I’ve started doing laps, and have gotten pretty good.  Unfortunately, my knees are a little faster than my hands.  My nose hurts.  Who’s Rudolph?

Mommy and Daddy got me an awesome swimming pool.  I wish it were a little deeper, but it’s still fun.  Daddy posted some pictures.  They also got me a cool spiderman swimsuit.  It’s a little big, but I’ll grow into it.  We took it to Nana’s house, but their cat, Jack, peed in it.  Now it smells funny, but I’m promised it will be cleaned before I use it again.  The only pee I want in there is… wait, no… I don’t want pee in there.

I’m trying to figure out what I want to do for a living.  Nana got me some camo shorts.  They were a bit too big, and I was kinda sagging in them.  And I wasn’t wearing a shirt.  Mommy didn’t think sagging camo and shirtless was a good look for me.  I guess I won’t be growing up to be an east Tennessee plumber.

More to come!  And by the way…. I’m still cute.