So Loved

It seems I have surpassed both my mommy and daddy in number of remarks.  They try hard, but their lives are simply less dynamic than my own.  They live in a limited world, whereas mine is a magical realm, filled with plastic balls and nap time.  What adult experience could compete with such a life?

The other day, Daddy decided to give me a bath.  I think I really impressed him with my super-duper tip-roll-spin into the water.  I was working on the graceful ascension when Daddy scopped me from the water.  So much for an elegant ending.  Oh well, maybe he’ll lighten up and let me finish next time.  It was going to be very impressive.  And I still don’t understand why I can’t bathe in more than 4 inches of water.

Also, I’m a little frustrated with Daddy.  He managed to teach Mommy how to drive a stick shift, but he didn’t bother to teach me how to crawl.  This whole time, I’ve been using the hands-knees-tummy-face technique, which made my nose sore.  It was by sheer accident that I realized my folly and learned to reduce hands-knees-tummy-face into just hands-knees, which is much less painful.  I wonder if he’ll teach me to swim by tossing me in.  Stinker.  Also, this new method increases my crawl rate.  I’ll be catching that elusive feline by June, I believe-if not by speed, then by strategic timing.

As Free as the Wind Blows

Mommy and Daddy put me in these funny pants today. Luckily, I have learned how to remove them. Imagine their surprise when they went to retrieve me from my sleeptuary to find me pantless. I have also spent much of the day removing and chewing on my hat, which Mommy and Daddy demand I wear when it is cold and wet or warm and sunny outside. But my iron will prevailed, and the hat spent most of the day in the diaper bag.

Today, I experienced failure. Victory was within my 8″ reach, within my very hand, but I failed. I had devised a clever – nay, ingenious plan to get my first taste of adult candy. Phase I went well. The box of easter candy hitting the floor, providing adequate candy dispersion. Phase II was very well executed. I managed to tuck one jelly bean under my leg while hurriedly shoving another into my mouth. As expected, Daddy saw the one I was eating, and quickly removed it. That is when I made my fatal mistake. Had I waited just 5 more seconds, Daddy would have looked away, and I could have feasted on the second bean. But no. I was overtaken with passion, my desire burning as a fever. When I could resist no longer, I extracted the second bean and bit violently, its sweet flavor dancing across my tongue. But it was short lived. Before I could even determine the flavor (sweet potato or green bean?), Daddy saw my stolen sweet, and took it. Alas. It was truly great. I still mourn, but ’tis better to have tasted and lost.

Getting to my Grass Roots

Mommy is finally lightening up about what I can do, so I’ve spent a lot of time in the grass these past days.  It took a while to become acclimated to my new environment, so much grass touching was needed before I was comfortable.  I soon felt better, though, and discovered how easily grass can be transplanted from the ground to my mouth.  If I time it just right, Mommy and Daddy don’t notice until it’s too late.  Grass is much better than green beans.

I was also given some new bathmates.  Mommy picked me out some froggie toys, and they’re really neat.  That brings the bath toy count to three fish, 1 duckie, and an assortment of froggie accessories.

On a more serious note, I wish I had more babies to play with.  Sundays were fun, but I’ve been sick lately, so I haven’t gotten to go as much.  Last time I was around a baby, I discovered that his hand was even tastier than my own, and I must know if this is true of all other babies.  I am especially pleased to discover that, though biting my hand hurts, biting the hands of my friends doesn’t hurt at all.  I have conquered pain!

Hello world!

Today I told Mommy and Daddy that I’m a big boy, certainly old enough for a blog of my own.  So here I am, ready to share my life with my avid readers.

First to the important stuff.  I drooled a lot today.  I blew some raspberries, but I really thought that I should concentrate my energy mainly on drooling.  It was hard work, but someone’s got to do it, and much of the carpet still remains undrenched.  But tomorrow is another day!

Today, I found a fun new game.  I call it “Convincing Mommy and Daddy I’m Eating Things When I’m Really Not.”  It makes Mommy and Daddy jump and get all excited and tell me no.  Daddy makes funny faces when he tries desperately to fish a non-existant object out of my mouth.  It’s the perfect time to bite him.  I love my teeth!  I find the experience is enhanced by making growly noises and causing my face to turn red.  I think my performance is quite believable.  Tomorrow we’ll play “Convincing Mommy and Daddy That I Gave Myself a Concussion When I Tipped Over.”  These games are so much fun!

Pardon me for stopping so soon, but I have to go convince Mommy and Daddy that I’m exhausted and then scream once they put me in my bed.  That game is also so much fun.